Of Plans, Diamonds and Stuffed Toys
by Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love
Summary: Sirius Black’s Ultimate, Amazing, Stupendous Plan to Woo Werewolf Extraordinaire, Remus Lupin This Valentine’s Day." Will it work? Or will it fail? Includes stuffed toys, flowers, chocolates and diamonds. Read and review! RLSB SLASH!Mostly dialogue.


_**I hope you like this! I had fun writing it!  
This is SLASH people! That means two utterly hot men in an extremely yummy relationship. Together. With each other. :) Don't like, don't read. I consider you warned.  
I do not own HP. Unfortunately. :(  
Pleaseeee remember to review!  
I'll love you forever :)**_

Sirius Black's Ultimate, Amazing, Stupendous Plan to Woo Werewolf Extraordinaire, Remus Lupin This Valentine's Day:

_**6:50AM: Wake him up.**_

"Mornin' My Favourite Shiny Werewolf!"

"...Bleaurghh... Sir'us it's seven in the morning... Leave me 'lone... _Shiny_?"

"Yup, what _are _you if not shiny? Get out of bed, Moonshine!"

"Why should I? And _why_ are you in my flat?"

"Awww, why so grumpy Mr Moony?"

"Because you're sitting on me. Now get off and lemme sleep..."

"IT'S VALENTINES DAY! GET _UP_!"

_**7:00AM: Waffles for breakfast!**_

"Lalalalala..."

"Sirius, what are you doing in my kitchen?... And what's with the apron?"

"Making breakfast! Look! Waffles! With chocolate sauce!"

"Ugh, it's too early for this."

"Coffee?"

"Now, please."

"Ooh, someone's a bit demanding. I wonder whether you're like that in bed..."

"Sirius, I _will _kick you out."

_**9:00AM: Chocolate:**_

"Look Moons! You got a Valentine's gift!"

"Really? Great."

"Aren't you going to open it?"

"Do I have to?"

"_Yes._"

"Fine..."

"Do you like it? Do you like it?"

"Padfoot, why are you so overexcited? You're acting as if you're the sender..."

"...Psht! Nahh... 'course I didn't send it..."

"Well, they _are _rather nice... Hmmmm yummy..."

"Well, _duh_, they're from Honeydukes, Moony!"

"...How'd you know?"

"I-I... saw them there! Yeah... I saw them there!"

"Mhmm... That's strange, there's no card..."

"...Damn, I knew I forgot something!"

"What? You _need _to speak more clearly, Sirius."

"Nothing, nothing, don't worry... So...how about one of those chocolates, eh?"

_**10:00AM: **Subtle **Flirting**_

"Hey, Rem?"

"Yeah?"

"You look pretty hot today."

"Excuse me?!"

"What? It's true."

"Um... okay... thank you?"

"No problem, dearie."

"...Sirius, is there something in your eye?"

"No! I was _winking_! Honestly."

"Oh. Um. Okay. By the way, are you going out today?"

"No, why?"

"...'Cause it's _Valentine's day_, Pads. You _always _have a date on Valentine's day."

"Nah, not this time, I wanted to spend today with you."

"Oh. You don't have to... But, um, thanks anyway."

"Oh no, I'm staying, love, whether you like it or not."

"...Did you just call me 'love'?"

"Uh huh. Deal with it."

_**More subtle flirting:**_

"Moony, stop that right now!"

"What?"

"Leave it! Put it down!"

"Leave _what_? Put _what _down?"

"Your hair looks nice when it flops into your eyes. And I absolutely _forbid _you to move it away."

"But I can't see..."

"Hmm... your hair's so _soft..._ Hmmm..."

"Pads. Stop touching my hair. _Now_."

"But I like touching your hair, babe."

"...Ugh. You _never _fail to confuse me. Just when I think you can't get any crazier..."

_**12:00PM: Rose Petal Bed: **_

"Lalalalalala..."

"Sirius?! Where are you?"

"In the bedroom!"

"What are you doing in- _Good Lord_ _Sirius_!"

"...What?"

"What on _earth _are you doing?"

"Isn't it pretty romantic?"

"_No. _Get those bloody things off of my bed!"

"...But I thought that all girls found rose petals on beds romantic..."

"Well, Padfoot, in case you hadn't noticed, I happen to have a dick."

"...Really? Prove it."

_**12:30PM: Stuffed toys:**_

"Oh. My. God."

"I know! Aren't they adorable? Look, there's toy Padfoot... And there, on top of him, is toy Moony!"

"Sirius, there are hundreds of them!"

"Yeah, well, at first I bought one of each, Moony and Padfoot. But then I wanted an extra Moony toy... and _everyone _knows you can't have a Moony without a Padfoot, so then I had to buy another Padfoot. And... I got a bit-"

"-Carried away... I can tell. And Pads, what is up with their positions?"

"It's canine _lurveee _Remy-kins."

_**1:30PM: Jewellery:**_

"Look, Rem! Another present from your secret admirer!"

"Cool... Well, give it to me then."

"No."

"Why? Sirius, it's _my _present!"

"But I wanna open it!"

"No, Sirius, give it here."

"Fine..."

"Thank you... I wonder what it-... whoa..."

"What?"

"Look at that, Padfoot!"

"Wow. It's pretty nice, don't you think?"

"Yeah, undeniably... but there's only one problem..."

"What? Don't you like it?! Is it bad? What's wrong with it?"

"That secret admirer of mine seems to have mixed up my gender..."

"Why?"

"Well, have you ever seen a male wearing a diamond necklace, earrings and a ring?"

"...No... but-"

"Merlin, it must have been so expensive..."

_**3:00PM: Flowers:**_

"Hey, look at this, Padfoot."

"That's a _lot _of roses..."

"Yeah. Holy crap, there must about _fifty_!"

"Whoa..."

"Padfoot, help me with these, would you? In the kitchen, top cupboard in the left hand corner. Get me a vase. Oh, and, this time remember to fill it up with water!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... Here."

"...Stop moving the vase! Put it down!... No, not on the _floor _Padfoot."

"Where then?"

"The table, maybe? Use your brain, Pads!"

"You do like the flowers, don't you?"

"Of course I do, they're gorgeous."

"Awesome! Yay! Whoop!"

"..."

_**4:00PM: Photo time!**_

"I want to take some photos!"

"Padfoot, _why_?"

"Memories..."

"I suppose a few can't hurt. Come on then, let's go dig up a camera."

"I have one right here."

"Um okay, then."

"_**Smile**_!"

"Ack, Sirius, I wasn't ready!"

"Alright, now, sit on the sofa."

"Why?"

"Just sit down."

"Fine."

"Now, lie down."

"Padfoot. No."

"Please! You're only lying down! There's nothing wrong with that!... Okay... good, now...-"

"Sirius, I'm-"

"Now, spread your legs wide and then put your han-"

"SIRIUS BLACK!"

* * *

Remus lifted up the parchment, frowning. What was it doing under the sofa, of all places? Turning the yellow paper over, he stopped when he saw writing. After reading the title, during which his eyebrows had shot into his hairline, he sat on the cushions, eyes skimming over the scrawled lettering.

"Sirius Black's Ultimate, Amazing, Stupendous Plan to Woo Werewolf Extraordinaire, Remus Lupin This Valentine's Day:

**Wake him up  
**DONE (and Gods, did he look adorable or what? All droopy eyes and messy hair...)  
**  
Waffles for breakfast  
**DONE (... he didn't want the waffles...)  
**  
Chocolates!**  
DONE (whew, so glad he liked them! Would've cried if he didn't...)

**Subtle flirting **  
DONE (he got annoyed at me... but he did look sooo cute blushing.)

**More subtle flirting  
**DONE (see above)

**Rose petal bed  
**DONE (I thought everyone liked Rose petal beds... Maybe it's the werewolf within him or something.)  
**  
Stuffed toys  
**DONE (They were ADORABLE!)

**Jewellery  
**DONE (I had no clue they were for females ONLY! I mean, whatever happened to unisex jewellery?!)

**Flowers  
**DONE (he totally loved them.)

**Photo time  
**DONE (hehe. I think I went a tad bit far on that one...)

**Candlelight dinner**

Desert

Fireworks

Kiss him

Declare undying love for him

Kiss him again

And again

And again...

Seduce him! (Fun, fun, fun!)

I, Sirius Black, am a genius!"

* * *

Remus shook his head, trying to control the beaming smile that was threatening to unleash itself upon his face.

Sirius wanted to _woo _him.

Adorable.

Absolutely _adorable._

Of all the things he had expected to be written on the piece of parchment, this... _list _thing was definitely not it. But Gods, it was so cute; he felt like his heart was going to pop. The werewolf could feel a hot blush staining his cheeks and he could _feel _himself glowing in happiness.

Sirius wanted him.

_Him!_

Standing up, he made his way to the kitchen, where he knew Sirius would be situated. (He just could _not _stop eating, could he?)

"Hey Sirius. Look what I found." Sirius came away from burrowing around in the fridge, raising an eyebrow in question. He walked towards the werewolf, holding his hand out for the parchment. His eyes widened as they flew across it. Crap, he knew he shouldn't have hid it under the sofa! It was too easy! Stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

"I- er... Moony-"

"Well, I don't know about you, but I don't really feel like a candlelight dinner."

He shot Sirius a cheeky smile, moving forward so that the two men were almost touching. The heat was radiating off of Remus' body in waves, and Sirius could feel the werewolf's warm breath skimming over his slightly parted lips. Swallowing, hardly daring to believe that this was real, the Animagus cocked his head to the side.

"I- we... Rem-"

Remus interrupted, amber eyes sparkling, "so why don't we just skip straight to the seduction part?"

**_This took me a while to writee :)  
Hope you like it! And pleaseee remember to review! It would make me happy!! :D  
Free Moony and Padfoot stuffed toys to those who review! :P  
_**


End file.
